With about 110 million singles across the United States, you would think that many people have chosen the single life by choice-- particularly since the male to female ratio is about 1 to 1 between the ages of 25-40. In this day and age when connecting with people is a way of life and we are given more advanced technology to do so, you would think that there would be significantly less than 35% of the population tied together (significantly higher if you count unmarried couples). Even traditional arranged marriages are done online these days.
With shows like Millionaire Matchmaker, making matchmaking more popular, and with the interest in astrology becoming more widespread, matchmakers and astrologers are wracking up the dough cheese. Yet here we are, the singles club, 110 million strong.
I must say that up until recently, I was never one who was inclined toward marriage or toward a long term relationship. I had always categorized myself as a "habitual dater". Casual dating seemed so much fun. There was always someone new to meet, whether they were weird or normal, and always a new experience around the corner. I could have three dates a day..breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Best of all, there were never any expectations. Each person usually understood that it was all for the sake of good company. A handful have even become great friends of mine who have been great supports when things get a little tough. From the infamous "Honey Jar Guy" to the "Cave Man to "Mister" to "Mr. Snake Guy"....let's not even mention "The Naked Fat Dude who Invited Me To His House & I Climbed Out His Bathroom Window" guy , I have a long list of dating stories that could go on for days...
It was not until my last relationship where entering a long term commitment became a priority to me. For one, the dates started to get repetitive. It felt like the same conversation was happening over and over again. Secondly, I entered a relationship with someone who I normally would not even look at but somehow felt very tied to (hmmm...I feel another astro blog coming on). Within this relationship, I felt very content and stable and I surprisingly loved it. Especially when you get used to a steady stream of support....it was nice. But inevitably it came to an end and of course it never resulted in a marriage.
So here I am, in my late 20s and somehow I feel that rush to alter feeling gradually seeping up my spine and straight into my heart. Would this be my biological clock? Tick. Tick. Tick. It gets louder by the second. Even though I enjoy my secret bathroom song performances to Mariah Carey with my boa and the fact I can go back in forth with being a neat freak to being absolutely disgusting, that gosh darn clock just keeps ticking.
So what do you think is now happening? Hopefully you guessed it....like the stereotypical woman I have gone batshit crazy! Bring on the nail biting, the jealousy of new brides, the cooing over every single baby (including baby cats), the secret hope someone will get divorce, and the attraction to married men. Did I mention I have a psychic and tarot reader on speed dial? I spend about $50-$85 a month a.k.a. $600-$1020 a year on my blind psychic and my elder tarot reader regarding my romantic future. And the questions never change...they are always the same..."When will my next romantic relationship be?" and "What will be the nature of that relationship" and "When?", "When?", "When?".
Of course, just as it is recommended to get a second opinion from a doctor, I have to call multiple psychics to ensure that they say the same thing. Even though the timing has been disputable, one thing that was consistent is that I am suppose to meet this special somebody out in nature since I love the outdoors. He will be darker skinned and either his first or last name will begin with a B or J....only time will tell how true this is. Here's hopin'. Fingers crossed.
But I digress, after all, this is an astrology blog. Why do I insist on turning to these means of determining whether or not I will ever settle down? Because looking at my natal chart and upcoming long term transits, I just get a sense of doom. Have you ever looked at your chart and thought WTF??? then start frantically looking at other aspects that can "save" you?....maybe it's just me....
Natally, I am pretty stable with not much tension in my chart. I do not have the ease of trines either. Mainly sextiles and conjunctions. It's my house placements and transits that always get me...but I guess, you cannot have it all (sigh).
In my role of the new life series entitled, "Alter Rush", I initially had turned to astrology to determine my propensity toward marriage. Here are some of the astrological characteristics that I feel are important and that have played out in my own life in a variety of relationship situations. These can also be applied to your significant other or potential significant other (for all you astro stalkers) as well.
Sign & Aspects to The Part of Marriage
The part of marriage is a calculated number so aspects should only be determined with a very tight orb...otherwise it kind of defeats the purpose of using a calculated number. I would not use an orb of more than 5 degrees but even this may be considered a stretch.
The Part of Marriage can be calculated using the following formula: Ascendant + Descendant - Venus.
Take me for instance ~ 23.09 Virgo + 23.09 Pisces - 3.20 Scorpio = 173.09 + 353.09 - 213.2 = 312.98
Part of Marriage = 12.98 Aquarius
For an easier calculation you could also visit Arabic Parts Calculator.
I have not found a lot of information on POM and I do not think it is widely used by most astrologers since it is a calculated aspect....but so are Midpoints. Because of this, just like the disclaimer on this blog, what I am writing about the POM is based on what I feel I am observing in my own life.
With a POM in 12.98 Aquarius, I think I have a very detached attitude toward my relationships. Not detached in terms of not caring but more like preoccupation. I think I look for partners who can join me in being social conscience and my humanitarian pursuits. All the guys that I have been drawn to in a relationship sense have been very good with and very into computers. I find that I like taking my partner in group settings or I like going out with the girls when he goes out with the guys and then coming home with the hots for each other. Too much alone time without a lot of activity makes me bored...and then I go into full preoccupation mode. I believe in having another couple that we are kind of "dating" as a couple. Although Aquarius gets a bad wrap for being non-committal due to their detachment, in actuality as a fixed sign, they are pretty loyal. I also have been pretty vocal about the whole "friends first, lovers later". With Aquarius as the sign of friendship, I tend to enter in relationships with friends. I also value the friendship aspect over anything else...and if that dies, to me the relationship dies.
My POM aspects are as follows:
With shows like Millionaire Matchmaker, making matchmaking more popular, and with the interest in astrology becoming more widespread, matchmakers and astrologers are wracking up the dough cheese. Yet here we are, the singles club, 110 million strong.
I must say that up until recently, I was never one who was inclined toward marriage or toward a long term relationship. I had always categorized myself as a "habitual dater". Casual dating seemed so much fun. There was always someone new to meet, whether they were weird or normal, and always a new experience around the corner. I could have three dates a day..breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Best of all, there were never any expectations. Each person usually understood that it was all for the sake of good company. A handful have even become great friends of mine who have been great supports when things get a little tough. From the infamous "Honey Jar Guy" to the "Cave Man to "Mister" to "Mr. Snake Guy"....let's not even mention "The Naked Fat Dude who Invited Me To His House & I Climbed Out His Bathroom Window" guy , I have a long list of dating stories that could go on for days...
It was not until my last relationship where entering a long term commitment became a priority to me. For one, the dates started to get repetitive. It felt like the same conversation was happening over and over again. Secondly, I entered a relationship with someone who I normally would not even look at but somehow felt very tied to (hmmm...I feel another astro blog coming on). Within this relationship, I felt very content and stable and I surprisingly loved it. Especially when you get used to a steady stream of support....it was nice. But inevitably it came to an end and of course it never resulted in a marriage.
So here I am, in my late 20s and somehow I feel that rush to alter feeling gradually seeping up my spine and straight into my heart. Would this be my biological clock? Tick. Tick. Tick. It gets louder by the second. Even though I enjoy my secret bathroom song performances to Mariah Carey with my boa and the fact I can go back in forth with being a neat freak to being absolutely disgusting, that gosh darn clock just keeps ticking.
So what do you think is now happening? Hopefully you guessed it....like the stereotypical woman I have gone batshit crazy! Bring on the nail biting, the jealousy of new brides, the cooing over every single baby (including baby cats), the secret hope someone will get divorce, and the attraction to married men. Did I mention I have a psychic and tarot reader on speed dial? I spend about $50-$85 a month a.k.a. $600-$1020 a year on my blind psychic and my elder tarot reader regarding my romantic future. And the questions never change...they are always the same..."When will my next romantic relationship be?" and "What will be the nature of that relationship" and "When?", "When?", "When?".
Of course, just as it is recommended to get a second opinion from a doctor, I have to call multiple psychics to ensure that they say the same thing. Even though the timing has been disputable, one thing that was consistent is that I am suppose to meet this special somebody out in nature since I love the outdoors. He will be darker skinned and either his first or last name will begin with a B or J....only time will tell how true this is. Here's hopin'. Fingers crossed.
But I digress, after all, this is an astrology blog. Why do I insist on turning to these means of determining whether or not I will ever settle down? Because looking at my natal chart and upcoming long term transits, I just get a sense of doom. Have you ever looked at your chart and thought WTF??? then start frantically looking at other aspects that can "save" you?....maybe it's just me....
Natally, I am pretty stable with not much tension in my chart. I do not have the ease of trines either. Mainly sextiles and conjunctions. It's my house placements and transits that always get me...but I guess, you cannot have it all (sigh).
In my role of the new life series entitled, "Alter Rush", I initially had turned to astrology to determine my propensity toward marriage. Here are some of the astrological characteristics that I feel are important and that have played out in my own life in a variety of relationship situations. These can also be applied to your significant other or potential significant other (for all you astro stalkers) as well.
Sign & Aspects to The Part of Marriage
The part of marriage is a calculated number so aspects should only be determined with a very tight orb...otherwise it kind of defeats the purpose of using a calculated number. I would not use an orb of more than 5 degrees but even this may be considered a stretch.
The Part of Marriage can be calculated using the following formula: Ascendant + Descendant - Venus.
Take me for instance ~ 23.09 Virgo + 23.09 Pisces - 3.20 Scorpio = 173.09 + 353.09 - 213.2 = 312.98
Part of Marriage = 12.98 Aquarius
For an easier calculation you could also visit Arabic Parts Calculator.
I have not found a lot of information on POM and I do not think it is widely used by most astrologers since it is a calculated aspect....but so are Midpoints. Because of this, just like the disclaimer on this blog, what I am writing about the POM is based on what I feel I am observing in my own life.
With a POM in 12.98 Aquarius, I think I have a very detached attitude toward my relationships. Not detached in terms of not caring but more like preoccupation. I think I look for partners who can join me in being social conscience and my humanitarian pursuits. All the guys that I have been drawn to in a relationship sense have been very good with and very into computers. I find that I like taking my partner in group settings or I like going out with the girls when he goes out with the guys and then coming home with the hots for each other. Too much alone time without a lot of activity makes me bored...and then I go into full preoccupation mode. I believe in having another couple that we are kind of "dating" as a couple. Although Aquarius gets a bad wrap for being non-committal due to their detachment, in actuality as a fixed sign, they are pretty loyal. I also have been pretty vocal about the whole "friends first, lovers later". With Aquarius as the sign of friendship, I tend to enter in relationships with friends. I also value the friendship aspect over anything else...and if that dies, to me the relationship dies.
My POM aspects are as follows:
Overall it appears that I will have a marriage that will offer long-term stability, will be intellectually stimulating but will be emotionally difficult or unfulfilling. If I used wider orbs, I will also have a marriage that is lucky, active, sexually fulfilling, and exciting.
With POM square my Moon (in Scorpio) I have always felt that in any relationship (including friendships), I have to internalize how I feel. I tend to be emotionally unfair with partners in that I require freedom (Aquarius) but do not like to give it (Scorpio). Because I know that this is unfair, I try to push back how I feel which either causes me personal tension about my relationship or I let it out which causes tension within my relationship. The majority of times I keep it in and try to make light-hearted play about it. I am very emotionally compromising in my relationships and anytime I do not I feel guilty. I do not like to talk about my dark things or my past...only the ones that make an exciting story. I can open up to people who I casually date, but not in my long-term relationships. In all my relationships, I have had a great intellectual rapport with the person or the person had an automatic understanding of me as a person without me having to say much.
I always look at calculated points as a way to sum up the energies of the bodies in a natal chart. Just as a composite chart is used in synastry. We can take natal planets and there aspects a part piece by piece but to best simplify their energies all together, I think that is when calculated points become beneficial in eliminating getting lost in the details. Calculated points provide a summary our our natal energies. At least that's how it seems in practice.
I will expand on these aspects in a later blog because I have observed some interesting things regarding the POM and want to dig a little deeper. Of course even with good aspects to the POM, the planets interacting with the POM should be natally unafflicted as well for these aspects to hold water.
Important Natal Aspects regarding Relationships in General
What holds you back in relationships? What are your issues with rejection (or non-issues if aspects are positive)? To answer these questions, examine the following natal aspects:
- Sun-Moon
- Saturn aspects (a lot of trouble if afflicted)
- Pluto aspects (a lot of trouble if afflicted)
- Quincunxes to personal planets (indicates problems with confidence)
- Afflictions to Chiron (guilt and subservience)
In my own personal natal chart, I do not have a lot of squares (mainly to Jupiter) or oppositions regarding the aforementioned aspects. My biggest obstacles have been to deal with the conjunctions which in all instances expect for one are over 3 degrees. Particularly when dealing with Saturn and Pluto. I am dealing with a lot of karma in my life and I have often felt that I am paying for past deeds so I am undeserving of a certain type of relationship. But because it is a conjunction, somehow I can push past a lot of these feelings but it does get exhausting. It was a lot harder when I was younger when being emotionally sober is such a drag. But it is paying off now that I am older....by a landslide. As a female, my natal aspects give me too much of a masculine air through my serious and reserved side of me and I find that men are a little resentful of my self-possession and single-mindedness (I am not a tomboy or feminist...just single-minded & straightforward...trust me...I have a shoe obsession!). I cannot help shake the feeling that they are a little jealous of it and it seems like they try hard to invent ways to get me all up an arms about them. Side note: In reality, some times I think that guys are so much more fascinated with their own selves and their own bodies than we ladies are and they really do not have a clue that that's the case. lol Anyways....my Saturn and Pluto conjunctions make me a very resilient individual especially given the fact they are in Scorpio.
My biggest hurdle in my issues regarding rejection stem from my multiple afflictions to Chiron which causes me to give endlessly in order to overcompensate for feelings of insecurity and guilt (hmmmm...this seems to be a running theme in my chart, and I guess my Mars in Libra doesn't help either). It makes me tip toe into certain situations which an make getting to know me on a deeper level a little difficult. The good thing about Chiron, positive or negative, I am an inspirational muse for those I encounter. I need to learn that it is okay to just be myself.
The Meat and Potatoes
So after all this yata yata I have been writing about, here is the section that you are probably the most interested in reading out. These to me, are the main natal conditions that should be considered with determining your (or someone else's) inclination toward marriage or the nature of a marriage (click on images if hard to read)
Based on my own natal chart and experience, I do not have any planets posited in my 7th house. The majority of my planets are posited in my 2nd and 3rd houses. Hence, I do not have an aversion to marriage I am just not necessarily a person who is all up and arms about it...and if I am, I do so quietly (unless affected by a transit). I know this is start contrast from what I mentioned earlier about my biological clock...but feel lucky that I let you in on my little secret. My friends would be shocked to know that I even know what a biological clock is. My personal aspects to Uranus make me a person who does require a certain degree of freedom and independence but not to the extent that it is extremely detrimental but rather in that it causes a little irritation. My 5th house ruler is Saturn. Although I have a positive aspected Saturn for the most part, the 5th house of romance and creativity is actually hampered with this placement. Even though it may make my approach towards the alter seem rather sober and matter of fact, it does not necessarily make less inclined toward being married. I just move slower (slow and steady wins the race right?). My Venus and Mars do not aspect each other. I am assuming that that adds a little bit of indifference toward my inclination to marry but does not necessarily hinder me. Or maybe the energies just work in a way that is not readily apparent to me. I don't know much about what happens when planets are not activated or not activated to another planet. I have some pretty positive aspects to Venus (ahh ha! there's that biological clock!)....I have a sextile to Neptune (google eyes) and conjunction to Pluto (need to posses a partner).
Transits & Timing
My biggest concern that has sent me on this stream of batshit craziness is that my 7th House is in the mutable sign of Pisces which is an indication of multiple marriages and the fact that Uranus is transiting my 7th house...after Uranus ends it's tour there, Neptune will follow right behind it. And both Uranus and Neptune are transits lasting 7 and 14 years respectively. Of course, these transits will probably feel more like 3 and 4 years long but the point is, even if my dream lover should rescue me from singledom the nature of the relationship seems like it will at first be erractic and one of us will be unreliable followed by a period of elusiveness and one of us being a bit submissive.
I am hopeful in that I recently read somewhere (sorry I cannot remember where) that transits are only felt if they are activated by a natal planet. This is great considering my natal planets would only make positive aspects to any transits in this house with the exception of my Mars (on second thought, I guess not so great) with a possible quincunx thrown in there somewhere. So if this is true, these transits should be manageable.
I suppose that transits involving any of the outer planets (Jupiter, Saturn, and Pluto) are big indicators of marriage and marriage timing. I know timing is a big question for most of us and I'd say, just off of personal experience that positive transits involving Venus, Mars, and Jupiter should be good indicators of when you will meet the next serious relationship. I entered my last relationship when Jupiter was transiting my 7th house.
Just a word to the wise, that if you are divorced you may want to consider looking at your 9th house instead of your 7th house (11 for the third marriage).
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